Saturday, September 18, 2004

Talk Like A Pirate Day

As some of you may know, I have been a loyal supporter of "Talk Like A Pirate Day" which takes place tomorrow. I found a Dave Barry column that will explain everything:

Talk Like A Pirate Day by Dave Barry

John Baur and Mark Summers came up with the idea of Talk Like A Pirate Day a few years ago. They were playing raquetball, and, as so often happens, they began talking like pirates. And then it struck them: Why not have a day when EVERYBODY talks like a pirate? They decided that the logical day would be September 19, because that--as you are no doubt aware--is Summers' ex-wife's birthday. Since then, Baur and Summers have made a near-superhuman effort to promote Talk Like a Pirate Day. As Baur puts it: "We've talked like pirates, and encouraged several of our friends to, every September 19, except for a couple where we forgot.

Despite a well-orchestrated campaign, the nation has turned a deaf shoulder to Talk Like a Pirate Day. In desperation, the creators turned to me for help. As an influential newspaper columnist, I have the power to "make or break" a national day. You may recall that almost nobody celebrated Thanksgiving until I began writing about it in the 1970s. I have given Baur's and Summer's idea serious though, looking for ways to improve it. One variation I considered was Talk Like a Member of the Lollipop Guild Day, on which everybody would talk like the three Muchkins in the film version of The Wizard of Oz who welcome Dortohy to Munchkin Land by singing with one corner of their mouths dropping down, as though they have large invisible dental suction devices hanging from their lips.

But I realized that would be stupid.

Now, to prepare for Talk Like a Pirate Day, you should practice incorporating pirate terminology into your everyday speech. For example, let's consider a typical conversation between two coworkers in a business office:

Bob: Hi, Mary.
Mary: Hi, Bob. Have you had a chance to look at the Fennerman contract?
Bob: Yes, and I have some suggestions.
Mary: OK, I'll review them.

Now let's see how this same conversation would sound on Talk Like a Pirate Day:

Bob: Avast, me beauty!
Mary: Avast, Bob. Is that a yardarm in your doubloons, or are you just happy to see me?
Bob: You are giving me the desire to haul some keel.
Mary: Arrrrrr.

As you can see, talking like a pirate will infuse your everyday conversations with romance and danger.


So, being a Dave Barry fan, I feel it is my duty to express my loyalty to him by giving him a hand in the publicity of this fine day.

So, join the movement! :)


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