Saturday, September 10, 2005

I have a meeting with my new boss today. I'm trying to shake off the nervousness I feel. All I did last night was dream about it.

I started a new job in August and I was enjoying it for the first two weeks, but then I began to find that there was a very difficult co-worker there who seemed to have decided not to like me. A lot of the things she said hurt me and I didn't understand what I had done wrong. Normally I can turn people off towards me by talking too much, or saying the wrong thing but I had barely said anything except ask questions because I was still training.

I talked to my mom about it and she was trying to ask me if I was sure that this wasn't all in my head. I was sure. This was different than other kids at school picking on me. This girl had decided not to like me and I wanted to know why.

The next time I went to work, I tried my best to keep my brain thinking positive. I was trying not to be overly sensitive. I would let silly things slide off my back until I got blamed for doing something that wasn't my fault. Not only, did a coupld people get upset with me, but when I told who had done the particular thing, they went and made sure I wasn't lying. When my story turned out to be true they were still scoffing at me. What's wierd is, I felt like I had a really hard time fitting in with my new co-workers. It wasn't just the one girl anymore, it seemed like most of the people working there only put up with me. I would try to engage people in conversation when the store was slow but they would avoid engaging themselves in conversation with me.

To be fair, there were some nice people who worked at the store. But the one's that weren't very nice were the one's I'd work with the most.

"Are you sure this isn't all in your head?" My mom's question echoed in my brain.
"I really don't think so. I'm actually trying to give everyone a chance and I'm getting shut down!" I think.

I wasn't expecting the worse. I only thought things would get better as I worked there longer. On wednesday, I called my boss about my work hours and while we were talking he told me a couple of people had complained about me and before I finish training we have to sort that out. He wouldn't tell me over the phone, only at a meeting. I hung up the phone even more confused than I already was.

I was shocked. Most of the time, I know what I could have done wrong. At the lest, I have an idea. This time, I am racking my brain to see if there was anything I could have done and my mind came up blank. I've never been in a situation like this before.

I've thought about telling my boss my side of the story. Telling him that I felt persecuted and giving out names of the people who treated me meanly, but that wouldn't feel right to me. I don't want to put anyone else through what I am feeling.

But until 12:00 today, I have to shake off the nervousness I feel and wait to hear what I have done wrong.

Prayer for Our Enemies

Lord Jesus Christ, in Your great mercy You prayed for the forgiveness of those who crucified You, and You taught us to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. Lord, I pray that You forgive those who treat me unjustly and speak out against me, and that you bless them and guide them according to Your will. Take away any bitterness I may have in my heart against them. Lord, may Your forgiveness, goodness and love be revealed in all of us, to Your praise and glory. Amen.


Post a Comment

<< Home