Sean and I played a game last night. We were watching The Office and during one episode, this new person in the Office named Andy has the hots for the receptionist, Pam. Andy decides to go to Jim, one of Pam's closest friends and love interest, for advice on how to win her over. Jim, who is very playful and a crazy prankster, decides to give Andy all the wrong advice to win Pam over. It was funny and Sean and I thought it would be interesting if we "gave" someone all the wrong advice on how to win each other over. Here's what Sean wrote about me.
Hello insert name of hopeful beau here, I hear that you are interested in the lovely and beautiful Erica Olson. Allow me to give you some advice on how to sweep her off of her feet. If you heed my advice, I guarantee that she will never ever forget you.
- Don't act like a gentleman, she'll see right through it.
- She hates flowers.
- She likes flashy jewelry.
- She doesn't really like nice-smelling things in general. She's kind of into the whole rustic-smelling manly man thing.
- She loves fish. Red Lobster for a first date anyone?
- She likes it when you mess up her hair.
- She is very detail oriented. A fun dinner time conversation would be to ask her about every detail of her day from beginning to end. Asking for a minute to minute breakdown would not be unreasonable.
- She loves it when she is complemented on her green eyes.
- She prides herself on being neat, and appreciates it when she is told how to better take care of her things.
- Her favorite kind of music is Cajun and/or Zydeco. If you cannot easily access that, Mariachi music will suffice. Or a self-sung falsetto version of the little drummer boy.
- She loves to gossip, especially about celebrities.
- She thoroughly enjoys a good ankle massage.
- She is most attracted to short guys with unkempt hair, possessive personalities, and part-time jobs.
- She is a very sociable and talkative person and hates alone time.
- She really hates the following tv shows: Grey's Anatomy, The Office, Yes Dear, King of Queens, and Everybody Loves Raymond.
- She likes loud noises and bright lights.
- Don’t worry about the tone or volume of your voice when talking to her. She has incredibly tough skin with feelings that you could sharpen a knife on. You couldn’t make her cry if you tried, and since you are a guy, that is officially a challenge.
- She enjoys a good argument. As a first date topic of discussion, try bringing up how abortion is a woman’s right to choose and that a fetus isn’t alive, and then order a vegetarian entrée so as to not kill any animals.
- She doesn’t need her opinion listened to. Just make her decisions for her so she can spend more time thinking about her favorite basketball team, the Detroit Pistons.
- She doesn't like kids.
