Saturday, September 18, 2004

Talk Like A Pirate Day

As some of you may know, I have been a loyal supporter of "Talk Like A Pirate Day" which takes place tomorrow. I found a Dave Barry column that will explain everything:

Talk Like A Pirate Day by Dave Barry

John Baur and Mark Summers came up with the idea of Talk Like A Pirate Day a few years ago. They were playing raquetball, and, as so often happens, they began talking like pirates. And then it struck them: Why not have a day when EVERYBODY talks like a pirate? They decided that the logical day would be September 19, because that--as you are no doubt aware--is Summers' ex-wife's birthday. Since then, Baur and Summers have made a near-superhuman effort to promote Talk Like a Pirate Day. As Baur puts it: "We've talked like pirates, and encouraged several of our friends to, every September 19, except for a couple where we forgot.

Despite a well-orchestrated campaign, the nation has turned a deaf shoulder to Talk Like a Pirate Day. In desperation, the creators turned to me for help. As an influential newspaper columnist, I have the power to "make or break" a national day. You may recall that almost nobody celebrated Thanksgiving until I began writing about it in the 1970s. I have given Baur's and Summer's idea serious though, looking for ways to improve it. One variation I considered was Talk Like a Member of the Lollipop Guild Day, on which everybody would talk like the three Muchkins in the film version of The Wizard of Oz who welcome Dortohy to Munchkin Land by singing with one corner of their mouths dropping down, as though they have large invisible dental suction devices hanging from their lips.

But I realized that would be stupid.

Now, to prepare for Talk Like a Pirate Day, you should practice incorporating pirate terminology into your everyday speech. For example, let's consider a typical conversation between two coworkers in a business office:

Bob: Hi, Mary.
Mary: Hi, Bob. Have you had a chance to look at the Fennerman contract?
Bob: Yes, and I have some suggestions.
Mary: OK, I'll review them.

Now let's see how this same conversation would sound on Talk Like a Pirate Day:

Bob: Avast, me beauty!
Mary: Avast, Bob. Is that a yardarm in your doubloons, or are you just happy to see me?
Bob: You are giving me the desire to haul some keel.
Mary: Arrrrrr.

As you can see, talking like a pirate will infuse your everyday conversations with romance and danger.


So, being a Dave Barry fan, I feel it is my duty to express my loyalty to him by giving him a hand in the publicity of this fine day.

So, join the movement! :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Ouch! Right where it hurts!

A few days ago, I was babysitting for a five year-old and a seven year-old, both boys. One of the kids, the oldest one, is a strong-willed seven year-old, and tends to get a little moody and in a lot of trouble regularly. I've known these kids since they were born and babysit them all of the time, so they know me pretty well.

Two hours into the job it hadbeen going extremely well. We had gone through our normal playtime routine that I set up with them. We read a story, played foosball, Candyland(their favorite board game), soccer, Air Hockey, raced on our bicycles and after all of this I took them inside the house to watch a movie and eat lunch. We had a lot of fun and laughs but, needless to say, the kids were getting a little tired and cranky.

The oldest kid, who had been really sweet and on his best behaviour the whole morning, started to have a bit of an attitude. At first I ignored it, not wanting to give it attention but then he started hitting his brother and throwing a fit. I sent him to his room to calm down. His response to the this was, "I don't have to listen to you!" Or something to that effect. I raised my eyebrows and picked up the phone, poised to call his dad. (As his mother instructed me to do when he misbehaves.) Since I have called his father in the past, the kid knew what I was insinuating and ran to his room screaming, "Well, you know what, Ewica?!?!? I don't have a crush on you anymore!"

I tried to keep a straight face but after he went into his room, his five year-old brother collapsed on the floor with giggles and I couldn't hold in my laughter anymore.

Hmm, too bad...I usually go for the guys who can pronounce their "R's."

Friday, September 10, 2004

Movie Quote of the Month!

Happy September!Today's quotes is from breakfast club.


John Bender: Show Dick some respect!


Mr. Richard Vernon: Andrew, get up here and help me with this.
Bender: Hey! Why does Andrew get to get up? If he gets up...we'll all get'll be anarchy!

Fish Update: We have moved his fishbowl downstairs, he seems to enjoy the sunlight and seeing people. David IV is still alive.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

When I Grow Up

For an English assignment, I was required (though not reluctant) to take a career assessment and write and essay about the choices. After answering the questions I was told I would be good at the following careers:

1. Elementary School Teacher
2. Daycare Teacher
3. Criminologist
4. Music Teacher / Instructor
5. Print Journalist
6. Market Research Analyst (whatever that is...)
7. Director
8. Sports Instructor
9. Religious Worker
10. Marriage and Family Therapist
11. Writer
12. Editor
13. Event Planner (Yeah, RIGHT! This could never happen.)
14. Judge
15. Nanny
16. Psychologist
17. Comedian
18. Sportswriter
19. Social Worker
20. Clergy (too bad, I'm a girl.)
21. School Counselor
22. Actor
23. Librarian
24. Chimney Sweep (Hmm...a chimney sweep...I never thought of aspiring to that.)
25. Producer

For the most part, I could see where they came up with the answers. The top five were pretty right on. I enjoy taking assessments like these.