Monday, June 21, 2004

The Work Antics Begin...

I began working at the summer music camp today. (By the way, my supervisor worked it out so I could be a counselor half of the summer and a CDC for the other part.) My friend James had to come up with a song for the show that the kids were putting on. This weeks show was: "Charlotte's Web."
He made this song for the show: (spin-off of "I Will Survive" by someone)

At first I was afraid,
I was pigtrified.
Kept thinking they wouldn't let me live
because of my size.
But then Fern came along,
she said she'd take care of me
and I grew strong
and I learned how to get along...

'cause I'm a pig
from Fern's farm
I say oink all day roll around in the mud and that's it.

Living on the farm with all the other animals
trying real hard to fit in,
herds, flocks and billygoats
none of them liked me
but the "itsy bitsy spider"
she's on my team!

'cause I'm a pig
from Fern's farm
I say oink all day roll around in the mud and that's it

I knew this song by heart, after one day of learning it. I doubt the kids even remember that they ever sang it. The kids enjoyed singing it today, nonetheless.I think they like it so much because they get to see me dancing manically and singing on the top of my lungs.

Good times.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Today I...

...felt like doing one of these...Sara did it, so it has to be cool, right?

15 Years Ago I...
-was one
-thought everything was funny

10 Years Ago I...
-was six
-was extremely annoying
-learned how to ride my bike
-shared a room with both of my sisters
-was in second grade

5 Years Ago I...
-was eleven
-was in seventh grade and homeschooled
-had a crush on Will Smith
-lived in Santa Ana
-wanted to become an actress
-spent a lot of time in my room eating cheetos and reading

2 Years Ago I...
-was fourteen
-began to love going to church
-had just finished my freshman year at OCHSA
-wanted to become an actress
-started to watch football
-had just moved to Tustin

1 Year Ago I...
-was fifteen
-beat all of the "Age of Empires" games
-started to try to talk my dad into letting me play Diablo 2
-decided i didn't want to become an actress
-had just finished my sophomore year at OCHSA and began homeschooling that following fall

Yesterday I...
-went to church
-watched the Lakers game
-was angry at the Lakers
-played Diablo 2
-fell asleep out of exhaustion on the couch

Today I...
-am sixteen
-am still angry at the Lakers
-tried to figure out how to make the necromancer really powerful on Diablo 2
-read some of "On the Incarnation" by St. Athanasius
-baby sat and taught the kids how to play video/computer games

Tomorrow I...
-will read more of the same book
-will clean my room (riiight)
-will watch the Lakers vs. Pistons game
-will probably be angry with the Lakers
-will do laundry

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Movie Quote of the Month!

Okay...the day arrives. June 10th. And today's quote is from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

Ferris: "...So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists?...A person should not believe in an '-ism,' he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, 'I don't believe in the Beatles, I just believe in me.'"

Fish Update: David the IV is still very alive. He's gotten a bit happier, too. Must be the counseling.

Monday, June 07, 2004

"C'mon, let's go for it!" Why you should make sure your doctor has graduated from the third grade.

I found this article the other day and I thought it was pretty funny and just a little pathetic. So, I'm sharing it with y'all today.

J.Lo-Butt Implants Explode!

   A woman who yearned to have a bottom as luscious and rounded as the rear end of pop star Jennifer Lopez has found her dreams blasted to smithereens -- after her butt implants exploded!

   Candy Jones- Davies, 22, vows to sue the hospital where surgeons allegedly pumped the implants so full of curve-creating air, they both blew sky-high -- right on the operating table.

   And she says a surgical nurse has agreed to testify in her attempt to collect $17.5 million for medical expenses, lost future wages and emotional pain and suffering.

   "She told me they had just put in the implants, when one of the surgeons -- she's not sure which one, but she knows what he said -- started saying, 'Well, if she wants J.Lo's butt, let's give it to her.' And they pumped more air into the implants. Then another one said, 'Come on, that's nothing, let's go for it.' And they just kept pushing the limit until it all just exploded."

   Jones-Davies, a receptionist from Pretoria, South Africa, says that before the butt blast, she was on the verge of signing a modeling contract with the talent agency where she works.

   They told me if I got butt implants to look like J.Lo, I could be one of their top girls," she says.

   Instead, Jones-Davies not only suffered second- and third-degree burns to both cheeks, but because of tissue loss her behind is even smaller and flatter than before the surgery.

   "I'm flat as a board," says Jones-Davies. "No one's going to sign a fashion model who looks like an 80-year-old man from the back.

   "I'm lucky to have a job at all -- I can't sit for more than 20 minutes at a time before my backside gets numb and I get stabbing pains down my legs. I'm just lucky they let me take a lot of breaks at work, or this ugly can would be getting me canned."

   A hospital spokeswoman says Davies-Jones' doctors were using a new inflatable implant that adjusts to a custom-fitted size. She says the hospital may file a defective- product complaint against the manufacturer.

   She adds that Jones-Davies "must also bear some responsibility" for the fanny fiasco.

   "She told our doctors at the initial consultation that she wanted to 'out-J.Lo J.Lo' -- her exact words, I'm told," says the spokeswoman. "And with all due respect, she had a long way to go to even begin to have the firm, well-rounded proportions of Miss Lopez. If our doctors failed, it was in trying too hard to serve their patient.

   "And," she adds, "our surgeons' quick response actually minimized the damage to Miss Jones-Davies, who would have no bottom at all if not for their knowledge and skill."
-Jones- Davies angrily rejects that claim.

   "I might have said something like that, but they are doctors, and they should know how far to go before it gets dangerous," she says.

   "And I didn't think they'd pump me up so much I'd pop like a balloon at a kid's birthday party."

Disclaimer: this was written by one of the "writers" at the Weekly World News. I'd love to sit around thinking up stories like that. Not that I don't right now, I'd just like to get paid for it.